Lucian Marin
Do you believe in God?
Yesterday evening I went to see Angels & Demons and I haven’t slept since; I came to write this post in the morning. It’s 5:44 AM and it’s a Wednesday. My thoughts are clear like water, if water can be used as a measure of clarity.
My answer to my own question is “No”. Let me explain myself. My mind can’t grasp the concept of God. It just can’t — the term is too big. I can’t draw something on paper when I’m thinking about God. I can’t feel his presence when I’m praying, and I’m pretty sure even an atheist has prayed at least once in his lifetime.
But I sense an energy when I pick up a rock, I hear something profound when I’m in a forest, I feel a vibration when I’m talking to someone else — and I know you’re feeling the same. Sometimes it isn’t a good vibration or energy, but it is there. What is this thing that makes all other things connect the way they are? Can I call it God and be done with it? I don’t think I have any other choice for the moment, but one day I hope I will have the chance to find out what it is.
Another thing I’m thinking about is the Universe. I believe it is finite, not only in space but also in time — and it’s not expanding. Actually, this was my first existential question, asked at the age of four, and it sounded like: “What’s beyond the Universe?” (Sorry, Mom). I had an answer right away: “It must be finite; it has a margin, and beyond it is something black, incomprehensible.” In 9th grade I found a way to demonstrate to myself that it was indeed finite — that was when I learned about mathematical induction. Probably beyond the Universe is antimatter, but who knows exactly…
After all that being said, he wants to (sleep) dream on. It’s 6:44 AM. Over.