Yesterday evening I went to see Angels & Demons and I didn’t even sleep since then; coming to write this post in the morning. It’s 5:44 AM and it’s a Wednesday. My thoughts are clear like water, if water can be used as a measure of clarity.
My answer to my own question is “No”. Let me explain myself. My mind can’t understand the term of God. It just can’t, the term is too big. I can’t draw something on paper when I’m thinking about God. I can’t feel his presence when I’m praying, and I’m pretty sure that even an atheist did pray at least once in his lifetime.
But, I sense an energy when I pick a rock, I hear something profound when I’m in a forest, I feel a vibration when I’m talking to someone else and I know you’re feeling the same. Sometimes it isn’t a good vibration or energy, but it is there. What is this thing that makes all other things connect and the way they are? Can I call it God and be done with it? I think I don’t have other choice for the moment, but one day I hope I will have the chance to find out what it is.
Another thing that I’m thinking of is Universe. I believe is finite, not only in space, but also in time; and it’s not expanding. Actually, this was my first existential question at age of four and it sounded like: “What’s beyond Universe?” (Sorry, Mom). I had an answer right away: “It’s must be finite, it has a margin and beyond it is something black, incomprehensible”. In 9th grade I found a way to demonstrate myself that it was indeed finite; that was when I learned about mathematical induction. Probably beyond Universe is antimatter, but who knows exactly…
After all that being said, he wants to (sleep) dream on. It’s 6:44 AM. Over.